Visionary director Hayao Miyazaki’s latest film, Django Unchained, is a departure from his usual whimsical animated features in that it is neither animated nor directed by Miyazaki. In fact, Miyazaki has just about nothing to do with this film whatsoever. It is instead directed by Quentin Tarantino, who made a bunch of incredible movies in the 1990s that you freshmen are too young to remember. Tarantino’s films are categorized by large amounts of gore and violence, weird camera angles, and Uma Thurman’s feet. In this latest romp, Django (played by Ray Charles) is a freed slave who must journey through the antebellum South to save his wife (played by Ray Charles’ wife) by making gratuitous homages and references to classic Westerns you haven’t seen. In order to do this, he must team up with Christopher Walken and take down Leonardo DiCaprio, who got pretty racist after drowning in the Atlantic Ocean. When he arrives at the plantation, however, he discovers that true power behind the throne is none other than Samuel L. Jackson, who hasn’t been in a single good movie since Shaft 2000. However, this simple premise has sparked much controversy. “American slavery was not a Sergio Leone spaghetti western,” whines director Spike Lee, “I’m not going to see the movie. I find it disrespectful.” However, the cast of the movie was quick to respond to Lee’s criticism. “Can it, mother****er!” replied Samuel L. Jackson. “The question for me is: where’s Spike Lee coming from?” says actor Ray Charles “He didn’t like Whoopi Goldberg, he doesn’t like Tyler Perry, he doesn’t like anybody, I think he’s sort of run his course. I mean, I respect Spike, he’s a fantastic director. But he gets a little shady when he’s taking shots at his colleagues without looking at the work. To me, that’s irresponsible.” Well-spoken, blind piano cowboy man.
Troll Rating: 10/10
Pictured: Spike Lee
Ok, so I’m gonna be completely honest here—I fell asleep during Les Mis. What I gathered from the first five minutes though was that Wolverine was really really poor and Gladiator was being mean to him for some reason. Then Anne Hathaway started crying and then everybody in the audience started crying. Whatever. Crap movie. Move along.
Troll Rating: 2/10
Pictured: Russell Crowe as Javert in “Les Miserables”
Zero Dark Thirty
Zero Dark Thirty was a good film, but I think it’s important to examine the socio-political ramifications of a movie that promotes torture as a effective means of ending the war on terror. It’s true that we were able to finally capture Osama bin Laden, but The film has been both criticized and praised for its handling of subject matter, including the portrayal of harsh interrogation and torture. The use of torture was long kept secret by the Bush administration and described as enhanced interrogation techniques. (See Torture Memos). Glenn Greenwald, in The Guardian, stated that the film takes a pro-torture stance, describing it as “pernicious propaganda” and stating that it “presents torture as its CIA proponents and administrators see it: as a dirty, ugly business that is necessary to protect Americ=e critic Frank Bruni concluded that the film appears to suggest “No waterboarding, no Bin Laden=esse David Fox writes that the film “doesn’t explicitly say that torture caught bin Laden, but in portraying torture as one part of the successful search, it can be read that way.”ily Bazelon said, “The filmmakers didn’t set out to be Bush-Cheney apologists”, but “they adopted a close-to-the-ground point of view, and perhaps they’re in denial about how far down the path to condoning torture this led thePeter Maassof The Atlantic said the film “represents a troubling new frontier of government-embedded filmmaking.” AMERICA IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. AMERICA IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. THE PATRIOT ACT EXISTS TO PROTECT YOUR FREEDOMS. THE PATRIOT ACT EXISTS TO PROTECT YOUR FREEDOMS.
U.S. GOVERNMENT RATING: 10/10 SHOULD BE MANDATORY IN SCHOOLS